Let me tell you the output in these days of an anthology in which psychotherapists tell how they use for themselves the methods they offer their patients. And how these methods have sometimes saved, and always helped ...
following are excerpts from the preface that I wrote:
What is required to be a good caregiver?
Well, to be a good caregiver, there is first what is essential: it is certain that the caregiver has learned to treat. Hence the importance of qualifications and training: Always dare to ask her what her therapist diploma (psychologist, psychiatrist, doctor or other), what are the methods he proposes, and what they are. A therapist worthy of the name will always take the time to respond and explain how they work. Therapy, not just listening and common sense. In any case, it is not that much. It is also a set of technical expertise, benchmarks based on scientific research, the experience learned from other therapists, etc..
To be a good caregiver, then there is what is best: is that when it heals, the therapist does not go too badly in his head. Of course, we can heal while being stressed, depressed, disturbed. But it will not work for long. Nietzsche's formula: "More than one who can break free of its chains has yet to release his friend" can be applied permanently to psychotherapy. It is dishonest and misleading to pretend treat alcoholic patients even if it is either dependent on drink. It is dishonest and misleading to pretend to treat patients anxious or depressed or even if it is in a depressed or prone to panic attacks. I remember the story of a renowned psychoanalyst came one day to lecture on phobias in a big city far from home: he was himself completely phobic, and colleagues who were invited were to accompany in all his movements that he does not panic, these colleagues were the blow a bit perplexed when confronted with this great gap between rhetoric and reality. Of course, this does not require a certificate of good mental health on the part of therapists. But the least we can do is wait for them to have overcome their weaknesses. Thus, one of the largest specialists in bipolar illness (what was formerly called manic-depression) is itself suffering from bipolarity. She was not ashamed to speak in a very moving book (Kay Redfield Jamison-: From elation to depression, Confessions of a manic-depressive psychiatrist. Paris, Laffont, 2003.) In which she recounts how his illness would could destroy it if it had not agreed to treatment, and how this vulnerability has both complicated life, while enriching. The issue is not one disease but its treatment as such health professionals should be role models, not so healthy that good management of their health.
To be a good caregiver, there is finally what is interesting: having experienced difficulties and having to get rid of it can be a good thing for the shrinks. This facilitates empathy: we better understand the suffering if we suffered ourselves. I say much easier because there are still other ways of empathy that the path of personal suffering. But having been with them and be released, it helps control tools that are used has also to oneself. And that brings to mind the compassionate humility, and awareness of the difficulty of what we sometimes ask our patients. In addition to their knowledge, caregivers who have gone through various forms of hardship then have another expertise: that of experience. They are usually a little ahead on the way: they are applied to themselves what action they propose to their patients. Their legitimacy comes from there too. No superiority (in terms of personality), but a citation (in terms of approach).
This book tells the experiences of so many psychotherapists deal with their personal difficulties. Some of these problems are fairly widespread to be familiar to most of us, such as stress, anxiety or depression: some are more radical and destabilizing, such as substance abuse, or mistreatment. In this book, you talk shrinks these difficulties, and especially what helped them cope. And not to fall: it will also deal with what therapists are doing to take care of them and continue to go well. For we must continue to go well for good care: the well-being of the therapist is a powerful aid to its capacity of compassion. Listening skills, empathy, support will need to rely on the joy of caring for claiming last.
You will find in these pages of practical advice not only useful but used: that is to say, validated by personal experience of the therapist. Warning: therapists, this book does not show up as models to admire, rather as models whose inspiration: fallible, frail, but put into practice the efforts they recommend. Most moving, and therefore more motivating. Fraternal models, somehow: not at the outset that their best players, but more advanced in the process, and eager to pass on some of their experiences.
I was fascinated and touched to discover from colleagues, some of whom are also friends, the difficulties which we had never spoken. I think you too will be passionate and affected by these stories. Therapists engaged here demonstrate honesty and courage. As patients who come to deliver their sufferings, their failures, their shame, their fears. And show us their resources. And we combine their efforts, their progress ...
PS book presentation by Sylvain Courage, the Nouvel Observateur, which devoted a special issue this week.
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